So, you want to be a Namify Creative designer?

This is the kind of stuff you'll have to do

 

Create digital mockups of custom printed/engraved/embroidered items using customer supplied artwork.

 

If said artwork makes you throw up in your mouth, send a tactful email to the customer offering your amazing design talents to fix their monstrosity of a logo. The more you do this the more you can design and the less time you will spend creating proofs (and the more money you will make.)

 

Do whatever I tell you to do without throwing a tantrum.

 

Dress cool. We are the cool department. Represent.

 

Laugh at all the funny stories I tell about my kids.

 

Assist with occasional piecework/processing jobs as needed.

 

Additional Information

 

If your resume is currently in comic sans, times new roman, or arial you probably want to apply for a job in either sales or production. I have no place for you.

 

To apply for the job

 

DO NOT CALL ME. Email me your resume. Put "Captain EO" as the subject. Also, your email must contain 3 of your favorite movies.

 

Things that will move you to the top of the list

 

Dislike dogs - they are gross.

 

Watch a lot of tv and be able to chat about it and work at the same time.

 

Have a relative or family friend that lives near Disneyland and is willing to host a family of 6 at any moment.

 

Own a minimum of 3 different colors of pants.

 

Desired Skills

 

Illustrator

Photoshop

Attention to detail

Work quickly - this is a fast paced work environment.

Positive attitude

Reliable - I need you here. If you miss work a lot everyone will hate you.

 

Start Date

 

9/1/2014

 

Compensation

 

$20,000.00 - $40,000.00 per year

 

Contact

Joe Brown @ 801.704.3169 - joe@namify.com

 

 

Senior Designer

 

Job Description

 

Review the artwork of our current customers and come up with a few ideas on how to improve their logo, design their next t-shirt, etc. Contact the customer and present these ideas. I know this sounds a little like sales, which i guess it is in a way, but if you're a good designer your ideas will speak for themselves.

 

Be tactful - we don't want to offend them but rather show them how we can bring them to the next level.

 

You will then work directly with the customer and be their designer, creating all the artwork they need.

 

Assist with occasional piecework/processing jobs as needed.

 

Additional Information

 

If you're interested email your resume along with a few examples of your work (or a link to your portfolio). Put "Harold & Maude" as the subject line. Your email must contain 3 TV shows you watch.

 

I try not be judgmental but you might not get an interview if you like to draw superhero-esque scantily clad women with animal heads. I'm not sure i can look past that.

 

Desired Skills

 

You must be a talented designer. If your mom can make it in power point it's not good. You must have good taste and be aware of design trends in art, fashion, and graphic design. If you like Thomas Kinkade, Papyrus, or carpenter jeans you should find another career path. Just sayin'. You need to be self-motivated and money hungry - someone who wants to achieve a high level of success and has the drive and work ethic to get there.

 

Start Date

 

9/29/2014

 

Compensation

 

$30,000.00 - $60,000.00 per year

 

Contact

Joe Brown @ 801.704.3169 - joe@namify.com